To Extroverts with Love- Day 9

Source: How to Love an Introvert by Kim Sutton

Dear Extroverts,

First things first, I empathize with you for being locked up in your homes and not getting your daily dose of fresh air and fresh people. I can understand how difficult it is for you and I want to take this opportunity to let you know how difficult it will get for us, the introverts once this lockdown is over. in the hope that you would extend us the same understanding

As an introvert, I would probably rather listen than talk most of the time. We are adept at building deep and lasting relationships. We’re trusted, accountable, and a core contributor. People look to us for our Zen like demeanour. However, we’re not a schmoozers and that really sucks in a social setup. We value your space and quiet time. Regardless, you have distinct advantages that enable you to understand people better but finding your tribe is really difficult. Atleast in my experience.

On the flip side we are naïve to the social art of retorts. Certain overtly well-meaning queries that desperately try to put us down are never ok! And while we should hone some standard retorts it doesn’t hurt to set certain healthy boundaries with such

So here’s everything that you should never ask an introvert (actually any person that you want to impress) on their face because it is crass and downright rude to say the least. I will never admit off course that It’s basically how to talk to me but in third person

  1. Don’t talk to them if you want to lie. They can sense your energy even if they might suck at understanding your body language. So please don’t try.
  2. Save your veiled relationship status questions for someone else. If we trusted you enough, you would know without asking and if you still don’t know then we want it that way.
  3. Respect our No. You should actually respect any living things No. Even that cat who doesn’t want to play just because you are in the mood for it
  4. Please respect our “me time”. That’s when we gather energy to deal with the big bad world and it’s essential for out sanity
  5. If you can’t talk anything good to us, then please don’t talk
  6. We are told that we are good listeners. And we are good at keeping secrets too. So if you make friends with us you have also earned yourself a counselor, patient listener, someone who can comfort you with good food and good stories and overall a great company. But don’t abuse our good intent and expect us to be available all the time.
  7. Don’t take it personally if we refuse your invite. It’s not always about you, you see. Afterall the only company that we seek is ourselves so please don’t take us refusing your invites/requests as us rejecting our relationship with you.
  8. How much we are earning unless off course you are in HR.

That’s all that I could think of today but I would like to revisit this topic if and when I have something to add to it. Until then much Love, peace and deeper understanding of ourselves and that of others.



Skills that will pay off- Day 8


So my virtual Quaranteam, how are you updating yourself? Here is the list of all the things I am working on. Also I have nothing else to speak today, grrh..

Any suggestions or additions, please let me know by commenting

  1. Learning how to Learn: The most under rated competency but nonetheless the Holy grail of all skills.
  2. Ability to Adapt, improvise and overcome obstacles: Thanks to the recession and Corona hard times are ahead. You will be put down on ground or you already are so these skill needs to  be looked upon.
  3. Meditation: You are your mind and what better time to calm your mind when the world is in frenzy.
  4. Ability to verbalize what you think and feel: Relationships are born and maintained by this important skill and I need to work on it. Am thinking of joining the toastmasters after the lockdown ends anyone wants to join me?
  5. Ability to Sell and negotiate: Life is a series of negotiations and selling yourself and your ideas is a big part of it. Read “To Sell is human” by Daniel Pink to understand what I am talking about.
  6. Art of Listening and responding not reacting: With the world becoming noisier, listening selectively and making sense of it all is a survival skill if you ask me.
  7. Ability to self- motivate: Like I am pushing myself to write an article everyday.
  8. Discipline: Play the game small but daily like me writing this. I can’t believe I took 1 full day to write these 500 words and let this inspire you and me  
  9. Time Management: Time is the most precious resource
  10. Speed reading: Read for self-development as well as entertainment. Read, read, read, you will never regret it. The average CEO reads 50 books in a year,  we should at least read 10.
  11. Self-Analysis: You can only improve that which you measure and knowing where you stand is so crucial.
  12. Emotional intelligence and empathy: As an introvert I don’t like to get out of my cave but unfortunately, we all have to deal with people so high time to gear up for this necessary soft skill.
  13. Self-respect with a backbone: Stand your ground.
  14. Generate ideas that have value than just imitate: Your mind is a fertile land and its value depends on how many ideas it can grow. A string of ideas can make not only yours but everyone’s life better. That’s what the likes of Steve Jobs,Bill Gates and Elon Musk do and we respect them for that, so why not give it a try?
  15. Ability to simulate outcomes: Simulate the end outcome for both personal and professional decisions and hence make better.
  16. Gear for post traumatic growth: We are recovering from this pandemic collectively and as a escapism are diving in deep into our passion projects and learning new things and this period will also be our learning benchmark for the years to come.

Now, let’s get cracking.

An ode to all who left Unceremoniously-Day 7

Sutapa Sikdar’s overwhelmed address on Twitter to her Global family

The grownup Pi Patel in the Life of Pi lamented about his heartbreak when the tiger Richard Parker left him on the coast of Mexico without saying goodbye.

“I was weeping because Richard Parker had left me so unceremoniously. What a terrible thing it is to botch a farewell…it’s important in life to conclude things properly. Only then can you let go. Otherwise you are left with words you should have said but never did, and your heart is heavy with remorse”

I am moved to tears while seeing this Movie today knowing that Irrfan has left us as unceremoniously as Richard Parker left Pi, the characters Irrfan Khan plays in the movie. I have never met him but I think I knew him from all the characters he has played and that familiarity is enough to move the thousands that are pouring their heart on Twitter and other social medias. And I wonder if animals have this ability where you grieve a death in your species though they are not a part of their “herd”. Do they feel a sense of loss like we do?

There have been many deaths across the world and we all were moved beyond words by them. We all have lost something, something which will not come back. I do not want to leave you all pessimistic and would like to share the hope which Sutapa Sikdar, Irrfan’s widow has shared with the world and may it restore your faith in all beautiful things that life has to offer, like love , like humanity and everything in between.

On the shoulder of Giants-Day 6

Have you been pursuing all the things you wanted to do but couldn’t do for whatever reason?

Did you start at it? Like I started or restarted reading now that I am between Jobs and can pursue passion projects.I wonder why did I wait, why didn’t I read more good books and why didn’t I learn from other people’s experiences any sooner

In order to cut the learning curve and minimize the number of mistakes you’ll make, you need to do one thing: You need to read a lot. Reading books and articles from individuals who have done what you are looking to do will cut the learning curve by months, years, even decades for you.

Understand, whatever your goals are in life, there are two ways of achieving them: There’s the long conventional path. And then there’s the shorter less conventional path.

The long conventional path is the result of not being someone who actively seeks out new ideas. The long conventional path is what happens when you think you don’t have to read about other successful people in your field who are 20 years down your same path.

This is the penalty of not reading and having to learn everything the hard way. The penalty of trying to do everything through trial and error is that you will have to achieve everything you’re going to achieve 20 times slower.

Save yourself the time and effort and remember what Socrates once said,“Employ your time in improving yourself by other men’s writings, so that you shall gain easily what others have labored hard for.”

Stand on the shoulders of Giants by reading on them, by them.

What do you Miss ? Day 5

Source: Shutterstock

In this current stillness, we have a unique opportunity to see things differently and maybe see ourselves a little more clearly. The pandemic has drowned out a lot of that day-to-day noise that tells us who we should be and what we should want, the things that distract us from what we really value.

Here’s a reflective experiment. Clear your mind, close your eyes, and simply ask yourself: What do I miss most right now? Capture the first thing that comes to mind. Not the second thing, which will be what you think you should miss most. The first, automatic thing. And to be clear, I mean a specific thing in your own life, something you can control. Let’s assume that we all miss the world as we knew it, but that’s not in our circle of influence, is it?

I was surprised by how this experiment went for me: When I asked myself what I miss most right now, the first thing I pictured was walking in my local park without a mask on. Huh? This is not what my logical, planning, sensible thinking brain would have said. My thinking brain would have told you: Surely, I miss the city: the subway, meeting friends in restaurants, streets being crowded and full of life. It’s interesting to note that my gut reaction is just to want a walk in the park a walk among trees and fresh air, a walk without planning, a walk full of possibility, a walk that might veer into the market or lead me to cross paths with a friend.

How can I use this piece of information to help me keep in touch with myself once the world becomes noisier again? On a practical level, maybe I remind myself that I don’t actually need to spend so much money and time on big experiences. Maybe I’m a simpler person than I’d convinced myself I was.

On a bigger level, maybe it affects decisions I make down the line about how I shape my life and take care of myself. When we can travel again, maybe I’ll prioritize places of natural beauty, and maybe I’ll come home from those forest-bathing trips feeling rejuvenated. Maybe I’ll be able to remember that energy-wise, I’m actually kind of a naturophile.

So what is it for you?  Pay special attention if something comes up that runs really contrary to how you think of yourself: Maybe you tend to beat yourself up for not being super minimalist, but what you miss is the feeling of wearing a new outfit. Why fight that? Maybe you find that even though you’d been feeling burned out at your job before, you actually miss being in the office with your colleagues and that a renewed focus on your career might feel really satisfying.

The key is not to judge whatever comes up. And don’t feel guilty if it’s not what you think it should be. Accepting your true self is always going to get you closer to happiness than anything else will. Because what you actually miss most might not be entirely in line with the persona you’ve constructed for yourself.

Write down what you come up with. Save it somewhere you can return to once you’re out and about in the world again, when your pseudo-self reawakens. And when the bustle of life is once more so noisy you can’t hear your own thoughts, take a peek. It just may help you stay grounded, make an important decision, or steer your ship on a bold new course.

Takeaways from Seth Godin -Part 1_Day 4

Seth’s remarkable. Be like Seth.

Good Morning!

Hope you are doing well in this Quarantine. I definitely am thanks to Seth Godin.

Yeah looks like I am going to write about him till I am fed up. So here we go:

  1. Do it your way: Do what you want to do, the way you want to do it
  2. Tell your story: Stories connect us. We watch Netflix because we like stories, we read books because we like stories. We love telling stories and we love listening to stories. We bond over stories. So tell your story
  3. Be patiently impatient: Don’t leave things before you conclude that they are not working out
  4. Who picks mediocre? Nobody. Refuse to settle for Average. Be remarkable to create positive buzz.
  5. The Product is the Marketing. Stop wasting money, time and energy on Marketing. If what you do is good enough, people will notice it.
  6. Spread your ideas: Be generous with your knowledge and opinion, you never know who will need what you have to say.
  7. Decide Carefully: Decide carefully what you decide to do because you have limited time and energy and you have the most important thing at stake when you decide to do something
  8. Life is a series of Dips: Failures are a sure thing. Don’t stop because you might fail, persevere despite it.
  9. Navigate without a Map: Nobody knows how a situation will turn out, except if you are an Astrologer or Donald Trump. Take steps towards what you love and improvise as you go.
  10. Create something remarkable: Create a purple cow. You can ignore a cow but you can’t ignore a Purple or a yellow cow.

Internet’s Boyfriend_Day 3

The Urban Dictionary defines the title of this article as:

Definition 1: A boyfriend whose interaction with you is mainly over the internet because of long distance

Definition 2: A boyfriend who can interact with you in real life but chose not to for some bizarre reason

Well relationships are painfully online these days and especially during this quarantine I can’t but help talk about my imaginary internet Boyfriend. So for the purpose of this discussion, we will stick to definition 1.

Ok I accept this post is lame so if you are repelled by illogical rant about my childhood crush then you shouldn’t read any further. If you are intrigued or got nothing better to do then you should read without judging me much because Hey ! Crushes are normal and speaking about them should be normal too!

It was Summer of 1995 and I was sitting with my cousins. Back then Star-movies was a savior when we used to lounge in the drawing room seeing one movie after the other. This particular day we were watching “Speed” and I can’t tell what it was about Keanu other than those Greek God looks that captured my attention. Not to forget that day the concept of a crush was crystal clear to me. Maybe it was the incandescent gleam of his perfect skin, or the military cut that was oh so cute. Maybe it was the way he looked at Annie (Sandra Bullock’s character) or his subtle yet shy smile. Sigh.

Born on 2nd September 1964 in Beirut, son of an English costume designer and a Hawaiian native, Keanu has Chinese, Hawaiian, English, Irish and Portuguese descendants, later naturalised as Canadian.Such diverse genes definitely give him an edge over us the lesser mortals The actor started his acting career as a child, later becoming famous for action movies such as Speed, The Matrix series and the most recent John Wick series. Years later it was his cover photo on Constantine which made me wonder how can anyone look so hot in a plain white shirt and I have seen his movies whenever I needed to pep my mood. Thank you for being my virtual shrink Keanu!

Over the years Keanu has been a source of inspiration mostly for his good deeds and partly for his dashing looks. Celebrities are often in the press for less noble reasons, but not Keanu. He has been generous with his earnings too. After the success of The Matrix movies generated him USD 114 millions, Instead of spending the money all on himself, he donated USD 80 million to the costume and special effects crews, and bought a Harley Davidson motorbike for each of his 12 stuntmen in Matrix Reload. Well if this isn’t swoon worthy ,I don’t know what is.

The deeper interest for me and I hope for you is to understand the elusive elements involved when one person is attracted to another and to use that as a window into that which makes us most human.If we can all share our crushes then we can know ourselves and each other better if you ask me.

One of the best things about Reeves persona is that his past could have turned him into a very different person. For one, Reeves suffered from dyslexia growing up. The disorder could have kept him from achieving his Hollywood dreams. Somehow he persevered and navigated the disorder during his formative years with the help of his family and friends. He was everything I want a crush to be ,a man of few words but brimming with heart and soul.

 Recently, Reeves became aware that he’s also known as the “internet’s boyfriend.” Why? Well to put it simply, everyone loves his personality and wants to have the actor as their next beau. When he found out, his reaction was priceless.

“I’ve been what? Well, that’s uh…… That’s whacky!”, he said.

Just as whacky as this article.

Almost giving Up-Day 2

Today was a rough day with me struggling to login into this account fearing that it was hacked.Tell me about problems on Day 2 itself!

It’s weird that anything and everything can scare us these days. So not taking too much load but nonetheless keeping with a promise to myself to post something everyday here it is.

A list to myself and anyone who is struggling with anxiety and an unsure future:
1. Have no expectations, it is the root cause of all evils. Lower your expectations but not your standards.
2. Pay attention to your breath and the soft calling of your heart. It knows what it wants, hear what it says.
3. Sharing is caring. So don’t hoard the love, the money, the food,the idea and the art! The more you give away, the better you will do.
4. Don’t try to sell your opinions to everyone. You are not everyone’s cup of tea. Choose your tribe and love them fiercely.
5. The best time to plant an idea is three years before you want the fruits. Three years to build a reputation, build a blog, build a relationship, build credibility and build the connections you’ll need later.
6. Resist your tendency to overthink.
7. Appreciate the present moment more than that idea which is yet to be born or that person who doesn’t give a damn.
8. Think really hard before spending your precious energy on undeserving people.
9. Do the work. Without excuses.
10. In case you skipped it, please check #2 again. That’s the most important one, by far.
11. Say No. Un-apologetically
12. Say Yes and mean it

And always remember that you deserve the world and even a little more.

You are smart. You are beautiful. You are enough. You are everything. You are all.

Training my Lizard- Day 1

I have always enjoyed writing but somehow never practiced it. And now, after the Lockdown started often flirted with the idea.

My last post was in 2017 and then there is nothing to show despite knowing well that I am only as good as my last gig. In my list of procrastinations, writing still tops and I have been desperately trying to get out of this rut. An encouraging mentor and my maternal uncle have been telling me to write something at the beginning of the lockdown however I have still let a Month go by telling myself “Oh Maybe it a Writer’s Block”. So instead, I resorted to some soul searching and do you know what I stumbled upon? This:

Do more of what makes you happy and finish what you start”

That got me wondering why I am such a jackass.Why is it so difficult to do what I say I am going to do? I say I want one thing  and then I do another.I really want to do something and then I never start. I want a lot of things but I also limit it to wishful thinking.I want to be thin but nonetheless take the 2nd (actual 4th) serving of the biryani and gulp the 7th Gulab jamun and sleep afterwards to ensure I stay fatulous. Yes I have just invented this word from Fat plus fabulous,I don’t want my Lizard to smirk at me you see.

Yes, you read it right, my Lizard. To know Lizard you should first know who Seth Godin is. To those of you who are not aware of Seth Godin, please invest a min to google him. To me right now he is a pro Lizard slayer and someone who is inspiring me to slay my own Lizard. In an interview that l was not expecting to be provoked, he said,” A writer’s block is a Myth”. And to explain it further he mentioned the Lizard Brain.

Seth’s “lizard brain” is inspired from Steven Pressfield’s “Resistance”. The lizard is a physical part of your brain, the pre-historic lump near the brain stem that is responsible for fear, rage and the reproductive drive. It is called the amygdala. This amygdala or “The lizard” hates change. It also hates risk and therefore achievement. So it sits in our head telling us to back off, be careful, go slow and compromise. If we continue to listen to this Lizard and mind you it was pretty dominant in my case then God save us. Day by day the lizard grows till we ourselves become Lizards, just devouring and chilling. All dreams stay on our to do list but never materialize.

Explaining more on why a block of any kind is a Myth, he says that a Plumber has no choice to not do his job. He can’t say that he will not unclog the pipes because he just doesn’t feel like it. And same goes for anything that needs to be done. If you really are passionate about writing, then you can’t let it be at the whims and fancies of your hormones.

So now after being enlightened by Seth, what would he expect of me?

Off course to contradict my Lizard brain and publish this.

Imposter Syndrome anyone?

I’m a fraud and everyone is about to find out. I feel that every time I am about to share something. I feel that right now writing this: I don’t even have impostor syndrome. That’s how bad my impostor syndrome is. I even think I’m faking that. If it’s part of my life, it’s fake. What is impostor syndrome? It’s feeling like an impostor when you’re not. Like you’re a fraud and the whole world is going to find you out. This makes total sense for undercover agents and people selling snake oil. It doesn’t make so much sense for people who are trying to make the world a little better or to sell something they believe in.

Well, I am not a famous person or person who has achieved anything in life but after struggling for almost 3 decades I feel that I am not good enough.I don’t  have a vibrant social life out of choice but if you ask me what have you done so far,I would not have an answer.I am a person who likes to read books and enjoys expressing my thoughts in any way possible.I love to know how other people think about various things and how their opinion is different from mine.And as someone has said it once that our world is as our perception, we better work at forming them.

So if you think you can relate to it, here is what has helped me deal with it.

  1. Stop comparing your achievement with others.
  2. Revisit your accomplishments.
  3. Keep learning, nobody is perfect.
  4. Internalize self worth.Today there is a whole slew of artist-entrepreneurs. We call part of what we do “content creation”. There has never been a time in history where so many people have a “voice”. No wonder we’re all suffering from impostor syndrome.
  5. Take ownership of your wins as much as you take ownership of your drawbacks/falls.
  6. Be good ,do good despite the outcomes.
  7. No body is as amazing as we think them to be.
  8. Part of the twisted arrogance that causes impostor syndrome is the (usually unconscious) belief that you have extreme idiosyncrasies that the world couldn’t handle(whatever that means )
  9. Seek help
  10. Being wrong doesn’t make you a fake. To err is human ,to forgive divine.
  11. Forget Perfectionism.
  12. Nobody has figured it out completely.

This is it then 🙂 Do let me know if you have anything more to say.

Happy to hear from you!